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DhaJoe-341

Restaurant Life

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Restaurant Life has it’s ups and downs, as do other professions. Our days are not always our own.

We have to truly work at our “normal” life, which makes it so much more a Blessing. Today is our Wedding Anniversary and you guessed it, we are working. Have a early Catering Order and an In-House Event which ends late, so we can’t do breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner. Instead we gave each other Cards, hugs kisses, got dressed and headed to work.

Made one stop and he got me Lillies, my favorite flower. He walked to the car smiling. “I got you flowers”, he said. <3

This was enough!

Our Marriage has endured many obstacles and yet here we are, half my lifetime with this one person and still looking forward to new adventures each day. Those who’ve followed Us prior to My Kitchen, know that I blogged a lot about being Married to a Chef and all the negative things that came along with that title. Late Nights; Worked on Holidays; Long Days; The Drinking; Unable to Plan Vacations etc. Over the years, that perspective changed. I embraced who we were as a couple. I am more than a Chef Wife. WE ARE A STRONG COUPLE! We work together and made a decision to BALANCE our lives, even if it meant sacrificing the Business a bit. It has been 100% the best decision.

Anniversaries are Dates meant to remind us to celebrate our love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.

In a world where Marriages are becoming disposable, I am so very happy to have chosen the RIGHT GUY for me. PLUS “He does Cook For Me all the time”, says this Chef Wife.

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Things My Chef taught me…..

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  1. Mise en Place – probably my favorite term. Over the years of our relationship, I became his sous chef and dishwasher; his student. I learnt how to chop, dice, julienne.  The importance of prepping  prior to the actual cooking truly made the process easier. Cooking as a couple was more fun over a bottle of wine.
  2. He loved books as much as I did. Although, his idea of “reading” was limited to shorter paragraphs and included photos. We have shelves full of cookbooks and magazines he has accumulated over his lifetime. His desire to learn has not decreased over the years, realizing that he will never know everything in his field. The art of Cooking is forever changing. Gifts have included Book binders for him to store pages from magazines, scanners to store on computer but as much as they are accepted and loved, he still loves to receive books.
  3. Time Management and Checklist. Cooking for 10 takes the same prep as cooking for 100. It only increases the adrenaline and the satisfaction of a successful event is 10 times greater. His organizational skills are on point. Each Event is different but all require the same attention to the same details, order taking, purchasing, budgeting, setup up etc.
  4. How to remove stains.. LOL this is a good one and had nothing to do with “Cheffing”. He has removed many wine stains, bbq sauce stains, curry stains, oil stains from my clothes, our staff shirts, customers clothes.. He gives high praise to his Grandma Jenny.
  5. Work began based on your timing to get a project done, not necessarily a schedule. This carried over into our life. It made sense to some degree. If a stew took 1 hour and needed to be served at 10am on a delivery which will take an hour with no traffic, guess what, you don’t go into the kitchen at 9am.. Do the math.
  6. Not every dish is prepared the same. However, if the outcome is a success, then the process to get there doesn’t matter. He’s made some traditional dishes from Trinidad. We went back and forth with my recollection of a recipe vs his tweaking the recipe to make it his own and it was quite delicious, making me question my grandmother choices LOL

This is a complete List but I promise to ADD on as I remember.

Thanks for stopping by

Chef and I

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So Someone popped the Question. What’s next

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I actually wrote this email to someone. Thought I’d share it here, since I’m certain there are many of you caught in the same situation.  You just got engaged and no idea where to begin planning…
Please keep in mind that this email was sent to a specific person with a specific situation.
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I have no claims to know anything but can give you some regular advice.
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Posting a question on an open forum is bound to only add more stress to your already stressed out Wedding Planning feet. haha. Everyone has advice. Everyone thinks their way was best. Everyone thinks their wedding was the best. And rightly so, You Special Day IS Your Special Day…
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That’s where I step in an say……………….
Before you begin asking around for ideas, try to consider what you want, dreamt of having, always wanted, envisioned. Even if that means riding in on a horse.. LOL.. it sounds silly but it helps.
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Reason being, if the Bride always envisioned a fairy tale wedding, in a garden with twinkling lights. Well sorry to tell you Groom but you may not be able to ride in on a horse. PLUS, a garden ceremony limits you to time of day, season of year etc..
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See where I’m going with this? Once you put all your ideas, crazy or not together, then you can begin tweaking and yes, googling and pinterest etc, for ideas on what other couples have done.
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However, I warn you!!! Not everything you see on the internet may be feasible for your REAL LIFE. That horse is $5,000.00 to rent.. Am hello!!!!! That photo of bride and groom sitting on top of said horse, well, sorry to break it to you but the only horse you could find for $900.00 won’t carry the weight of both of you, so guess what, no photo op.. LOLOL.
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I know i’m being silly but I see it all the time. Couples wanting things they just can’t have. That photo of the Bride by the window her mom fixing her hair. It was a moment in time. Chances are it wasn’t staged. You may re-create but never capture the same mood.
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The other thing problem I see is asking for a timeline/timeframe.. “How long did you wait?” Unless you have a Crystal Ball that everything which occurred in my life will be the same for you, I suggest you make up your own time frame.
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Some couples wait a year or two, so they can save money, some finish school, some are up for promotion so want to focus on that, some already have kids so don’t want to upset their lives.. Several factors can influence when you actually get married.
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So as to when you get married, that’s totally up to you. YOU BOTH have to say:
1. yes this is the wedding we want
2. can we afford to make it happen
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If you can agree on those two. Then the WHEN will fall into place. It’s NEVER going to be right, it’s never going to be the PERFECT TIME especially that you’re blending already professional adults but TOGETHER, you become one unit. and together you will make decisions to impact both of you with the support you both need..
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Look forward to hearing from you OR NOT.. hahahahaha
D
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Does your Chef wear his Wedding Band

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I’ve been trying to photograph my hubby aka Chef at work (when time allows). I realized the photos show his Wedding Band and thought, “Does your Chef wear his Wedding Band at work”?

I believe the question had come up on our Chef Wives “club” but never really responded there, since it has never been an issue for us. His is a rugged clunky ring; been on his finger going on 20 years. So I googled said question and found some interesting comments:

1. If it’s a simple band, yes. No to Stones – which I can understand, you wouldn’t want wear and tear and a diamond falling into your gravy.

2. Some Chef Wives admitting that they’ve requested, asked, demanded that their Chefs wear their rings.

It honestly never occurred to me to be an issue until i began looking at the photos.. Rings are a symbol of our union. Whether your Chef wears it or not at work, shouldn’t impact your relationship/marraige.

What’s your take on the topic? Would love to hear.

Hugs

D

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Dieting when you’re a Chef

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Hello there 🙂

My Chef is on a diet – Doctor’s orders. Well don’t get excited, it took him 3 months to “get around to it”. I’m pretty supportive, he is my husband after all. “through goodness and in health” and overlooking the fact that he’s becoming “fluffy”.. You tend to overlook it BECAUSE HE’S a CHEF.. So I ask myself, how supportive am I really? Doesn’t my “support” simply make me an enabler?

We’ve been discussing possibly having a vow renewal. Before you all start thinking “oh she must have said – you’re fat you should lose some weight” NOPE, that’s not what happened. After a doctor’s visit, knee surgery was discussed. Well if your Chef is anything like mine, you know that’s a big joke, who has time to schedule surgery aka time off. So once I began pushing about the vow renewal, it meant really scheduling time for surgery, so HE went to visit the surgeon.

Pretty much the conversation was “if you lose some weight, it will take the pressure (some) off your knees, we can (fill in blank) and buy you some time.. OK. so he decided this was the motivation.

However, that means I’m ON A DIET ALSO! Great for me because I too feel like i’ve been gaining. Owning a restaurant, we eat after service which is usually around 10:30pm. Not the best schedule. For the past two weeks, we’ve completely cut off the starch in our diet. No bread, pasta, rice, potatoes. No Fried Foods, pan seared is acceptable. Lastly, NO ALCOHOL. So you see that little smiley face after the “hello there” it really should be O_o

He’s been getting creative with our dinner – packed with protein and vegetables. Next battle would be the portion sizes, since my Chef is a Volume Eater..  After that, hopefully, find time to exercise. My Kitchen is made up of the two of us, we have no one else, so it’s difficult to allot “free time”.

How does your Chef handle his eating habits and/or dieting? If he is “fluffy” how do you handle conversations about weight? Would love to hear

Hugs

D

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The Chef’s Wives Club

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Yep, we’ve got one of those. Didn’t you know?

We hang around in long gowns, sipping Lillets while our Chefs prepare elaborate dinners. We entertain almost every night. Our Kitchen’s the place to be. SAID NO CHEF WIFE EVER!

We have this secret society. Some of us are lucky enough to stumble upon blog posts and if we’re truly lucky, some of us find support groups. HAHA!! No offense to AA, but it’s similar to that, except we simply GAB a lot through postings. I happen to be a part of that group. Needless to say, sometimes I feel like I don’t belong there but that’s another post. This is about the support it gives.

You see, contrary to popular beliefs, we do not often eat with our Chefs (since they have weird long hours). They do not always cook for us (since they work long weird hours and too tired on their day off). We do not host these amazing dinner parties (again, our Chefs are rarely around). Valentine’s Day suck for us. Thanksgiving and Christmas requires scheduling etc..

Can you even imagine writing about your smallest pet peeve, only to realize that it is shared by other Chef Wives (girlfriends, significant others) AROUND THE WORLD. It is so enlightening. Even though it doesn’t actually help you solve your issue, it takes a load of the “I’m not Crazy” crap off your shoulder.

My Chef and I have been at it for a while. He is pretty much my Gordon Ramsey. While I’m sure Mr Ramsey is a sweetheart off camera, I vouch for his TV persona. Being a Chef is a lot of pressure and requires a thick skin (yeah, show me a Chef who hasn’t burnt/cut him/her self).

Any given day, I feel like my Chef will put my head between two slices of bread and have me repeat “I’m an idiot sandwich: LMAO!! on the flip side, on any given day, I dream of taking the cast iron skillet and hitting him over the head.. We’re SO IN LOVE!!

So my SUPPORT GROUP helps me laugh. I don’t often share the craziness because like I’ve mentioned Chef and I work together. MUCH MUCH different to having another life while being married to a chef. I can dish it as best as he can.

I understand that my situation is not unique. It is definitely a Culture in the Food Industry.. Some couples make it; some don’t. Having some support to talk it through definitely makes life bearable

Hugs

D

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It’s our Wedding Anniversary

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Today is our Wedding Anniversary.. It’s been 21 years.

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No Bells and Whistles.. Just another day, like any other. Being Working Owners of a Restaurant, there aren’t any day offs for Anniversaries..

We planned to do breakfast but I had a bevy of calls this morning, so my day began early with emails and scheduling of clients. Plus we had to go shopping for the restaurant, so breakfast turned into a Sushi Lunch Date, which inevitably got cancelled..

Most Folks in this industry know what that’s like. I’m lucky to be with him but some Significant Others, usually spend the evening by themselves until their Chef gets home..

Hopefully, we can close a little early tonight and go grab a drink before heading home. Tomorrow night on our day off, maybe we will go somewhere nice for dinner..

Here’s to all of you. Remember we chose this marriage, we chose this life, so no crying over spilt milk.. Just enjoy the fact that you made it to another year without getting divorced or separated.. Cause being married to a chef is not always as wonderful as it sounds and we know a few couples who can’t say there are at this stage.. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY CHEF!!!! 1 <3 you

Hugs

D

New Year Resolutions

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Being Married to A Chef and working with said Chef for the Past 20 years+, dieting has been my biggest foe, to say the least.

This year is not different when I tell you, he begins by saying “WE” have to go on a diet.. YEP! “We”.. He really means, “HIM” but because he’s my main source of food, well yeah, I shall go along..

So tonight he made us each a Baked Salmon (i’m guessing around 8oz), topped with mustard.. For a side dish, he made Curried Cauliflower with tomatoes (this he made an entire medium saute pan).. I decided to put ‘people portion” on my plate and just put my head down and eat, just in case he decides to ask if I wanted more..

My New Year’s Resolution was to do more photography (of sorts).. So why not start with our dinners, this way I will have a visual log to review, for when we fail said diet by February. However, I only remembered about photo AFTER we cleaned up..

Oh Well, there’s always tomorrow.

Hugs

D

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Christmas Eve – Feast of the Seven Fishes

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When I decided to purchase the restaurant and hired My Chef, I knew our lives would change tremendously. Coming off Catering for 18 years, the day to day of a restaurant would really take a toll on us. We had a conversation prior to committing, that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we would close. It is OUR FAMILY TIME.
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What’s the point of building a business to support your family, if you can’t build the memories with them.. My Chef and I took over the family Christmas Eve Dinner years ago. Our Guest list have dwindled over the years. Mom has since passed, Chef’s Dad in in a nursing home, my brother-in-law goes to his wife’s family. So we have the kids AND a grand-daughter… We’ve also included a couple friends over the years BECAUSE when you’re a Chef, God forbid you ONLY cook for 5 O_o..
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We had Antipasto waiting.. Well yeah, we’re Italian (me, by osmosis), we must have antipasto.. We included several types cheeses – including chocolate and apricot.. The Baby loved the salami.. So yes, we were proud Grandma and Grandpa.. No better way to define a family than gauge with food.. HAHA!! I’m Trinidadian, it’s the same concept..
Wine of Choice: Rose
Conversation was great.
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Soon it was about time to embark on our FEAST!!
We truly tried to curb the quantity this year but somehow it yielded, *looks side eyes – anyone remember that story about Jesus and the seven fishes?*
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1st FISH – Shrimp Cocktail
Decided this would be non-commital.. c’mon it’s Shrimp Cocktail, you can eat hundreds of this and not get full when you’re a party.. WELL NOT WHEN THEY’RE THE SIZE of a lobster!! Even our Son (who does Food Sales), said “dad, what did you get these?”

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2nd FISH – Crab Cakes
Everyone loves the crab cakes he makes. YUM! over fresh cole slaw with yogurt.. Everyone was GUNG HO!! One cake per person, we can so do this..

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3rd FISH – Coconut Shrimp
Do you see what we’re doing?? smaller plates, bite sizes.. We’re NEVER gonna get full.. So he places a Platter of Coconut Shrimp on the table, so instead of having 1 or 2, we all kept eating O_o and drinking.. LOL

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WE TOOK A BREAK – such a bad idea!!
Decided to open presents at this point. Our Son goes to his in-laws on Christmas Day. It was fun watching the Baby and Chef Baby open up presents.. Grandkids really do change your life.
I should mention, we drank some more 😀
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4th FISH – Lobster Wellington
By now, the protesting is beginning to fester.. “What do you mean, it’s only the 4th Fish?” But we all dug in, Chef made it so interesting with a corn veloute..

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Chef actually took longer to get off the table for the next course. Could it be that HE was tumbling also?? We could only hope. HAHAHA! Thankfully, he had to make pasta, so we had another LULL (again, when you’re doing courses, it’s a bad idea.
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5th FISH – Linguini White Clam Sauce
I have to tell you, we were ready to throw in the towel and then Chef sauteed the garlic. I swear, we all perked up. I should’ve video taped it, would’ve been a wonderful commercial.
I swear we were full but yet who can resist a fresh pasta white clam sauce.. C’mon!!!!

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6th FISH – Alaskan King Crab Legs
Got nothing!!! I threw in the towel. I watched as everyone ate.. LIKE WHERE THE HECK is the food going?? We laughed.. Then he negotiated wtih them.. “I will skip the 7th FISH, if we eat all the Crab Legs” I’m not sure what happened next..

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7th FISH – Grilled Octopus
NO PHOTO!! I’m still in doubt that it was cooked.. I got busy with the baby and I saw everyone with Stuffed Artichoke on their plates, so i’m thinking they protested.. “This is bordering abuse – we can’t eat anymore”
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Chef and I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas.. Remember that some of the best presents are not found under the tree!! Enjoy your family.

Hugs
D

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Weddings In My Kitchen

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**** WEDDINGS ****
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This was my last in-house Wedding for this year. I hosted 14 Weddings this year!! Phenomenal for my teeny tiny banquet space.. I have my last wedding of the year this weekend. It will be Off-Premise at a Synagogue in Forest Hills. Expecting 200 guests..
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Each Wedding we hosted was uniquely different. Size, budget, family, low-keyed, Friday, Saturday, day time, night time…. But of all the weddings, I have to say that this Fall Theme Wedding was one of my favorites. We planned for a few months and it came down to details and timing.
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Began with the idea to Tent the backyard with a heater for the Ceremony and Cocktails.
As guests arrived, they were greeted with a mug of hot spiked apple cider and ushered to the backyard.
After the ceremony, we opened up a Cheese Station and began to pass hors d’oeuvres. Later we proceeded into the main dining area for a formal sit down dinner consisting of Prime Ribs and Chicken Wellington.
After dinner and some dancing, the guests were then ushered back into the tent for the Champagne Toast followed by Dessert, which was a Pie a la Mode Station.. The grooms did not want a Formal Cake..
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The Decor, choosing the right colors meant we had to go back and forth with samples. The Centerpieces we hand created by the florist using real flowers and the garland laid across each tables with pumpkins in between.. Just beautiful..
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Words can’t express how much I enjoy what I do and to receive an email expressing their joy, makes my running around that day all worth it..
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I’ve already booked 3 Weddings for next year 2015. One of which is Off-Premise at the Queens County Farm.
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Keep us in mind if you decide to get hitched.
Hugs
D

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